My Story

When I was in high school, roughly during my sophomore and senior year, I struggled with weight. In less than a year, I lost at least 20 pounds. I was then 95 pounds and dropped from barely fitting in a size 5 to a size 1. A lot of things influenced me to make this change. As I got older, I became self-conscious of my body because I was bigger than most of my friends and I didn’t look like a Victoria’s Secret model, which was my goal. Then I discovered diet pills. I loved the way they made me feel, it was almost like a high. I lost quite a bit of weight on that alone. I was also going through a very bad breakup and was depressed, so of course I wasn’t eating much; however, I still took the pills. Finally after making such a drastic weight drop, my mom discovered the pills and started monitoring me to make sure I didn’t take them anymore. When I read “Barbie Doll,” it reminded me of the struggles I had to overcome during that dark period in my life. The ending of the poem had a big impact on me because the girl killed herself because she was unhappy with her body. I’m so happy that I finally realized that what I was doing was unhealthy and that being skinny didn’t make me more beautiful. I gained a little bit of the weight back during the end of my senior year and during my time in college. I’m still 15 pounds shy of what I used to be, though. Presently, I am very comfortable with my body and could never see myself struggling through another eating disorder. I love my body and love my curves. This is why “Homage to my Hips” inspired me so much. I felt so sassy when I read it. You don’t have to be a stick to be beautiful. All women are beautiful, no matter what.

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